MVN: Most Valuable Network

For the love of fat left-handed starting pitchers and stanky pisswater beer, can we please get over it? Look, I like Brett Favre alright. But, I can't stand the ESPNization or hypercelebritization of him.

I get it. He was a great quarterback. He's handsome. His beard can probably scrub oil stains off my driveway. I bet his red hair can be seen from the planet Globulon 5000X10Z. But, for the love of God, let it be. If he unretires, fine. If he wants to stay in M'ssippi and jockey his John Deere forever into the vastness of the Oort Cloud, then let him. But please get it off my TV. Along with sick kids. Please.

P.S.; If I were a sick kid, my wish would be to make hot monkey passions with Erin Andrews and Marisa Miller in warm chocolate pudding, not meet Brett Favre. Just sayin', kids. Get the priorities straight.

Labels: Brett Favre, Erin Andrews, Marisa Miller, Stupid Things ESPN Does